Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Painless stab wounds

Yeah I know ive bn gone for awhile and im doubting anyone is still really watching this. But honestly I use this site as my own world that i invite anyone and everyone into. But i dont expect anyone to peek in. So i can just drift off ramble on... jumble my words and rumble in the jungle with my thoughts... But lately ive been trying to get the correct book deal with the right publisher i know is gonna push me and my talents to a level i cannot do alone. But other than that man im being plagued... by these jabs and jousts to my heart... Just broke up.. feels like forever ago.. dont even know when or if its official or if were on a extended fight... cause this shit feels like months so i know its weeks. and im saying this On some you know the feeling type shit. But man im so used to discarding ppl from my life that once i felt the want to keep someone... I didnt know how to feel.. now it feels like since i said so many crushing things... shes just out for blood... do i blame her? NO... But am i guilty of anything shes not NO. Man I love the girl but i can't allow myself so be lost in her when shes lost the want for me in her. But man on top of it all a child could hang in the balance and shes so caught in just her... I just cant get threw to her. the thing shes thinkin about doing is so against me and what i believe that it feels like spite... is that to vain/conceited? but i dont want her to resent me or the child so should i concede? Man all of this is eating away at your from the core. And ive said lets work on us... (never do that) I said i want you ( never do that) And she just said shes on a emotional rollercoaster.. she needs time to think.. What have u bn doing for the past couple weeks.

man so its left to say is .....

Man i'll jus sit here and torture the possibilty of what i could or what could...

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