left right left right... faster... faster... faster...

So my mind seems to picking up the place and is racing threw ideas... on the direction that life seems to be taking.... the world seems to be in so many words Nose Diving! But im okay with it because it seems as though like the pheonix flying into the fire is the only way to come out of this refreshed.... you must

And I back for a moment

SO i decided to step back into the ring of the blog world for a moment in time. Suspended in a world filled with doubt i seem to be standing on a mountain of self restraint. this day has been a well thought out treasure hunt written in pencil erased and shaded back in. I fill the last couple weeks/months have been the right steps in life but the wrong gestures noticed.

As i read past entries i realize man... where i stood and where i shouldve been standing. LoL. Its like when Bugs drops a piano and daffy is standing under it and just holds up a sign that says ouch.... LMAO.



Well that book deal is still trying to be pasted. Im still writing. But it IS finished and i do feel very good about the situation. Its just me taking the time to make these things happen. Watch out deity take the time to unfold the towel of proverbial life and clean up the mess i've made. lol. cause im breaking eggs all over the place.

Painless stab wounds

Yeah I know ive bn gone for awhile and im doubting anyone is still really watching this. But honestly I use this site as my own world that i invite anyone and everyone into. But i dont expect anyone to peek in. So i can just drift off ramble on... jumble my words and rumble in the jungle with my thoughts... But lately ive been trying to get the correct book deal with the right publisher i know is gonna push me and my talents to a level i cannot do alone. But other than that man im being plagued... by these jabs and jousts to my heart... Just broke up.. feels like forever ago.. dont even know when or if its official or if were on a extended fight... cause this shit feels like months so i know its weeks. and im saying this On some you know the feeling type shit. But man im so used to discarding ppl from my life that once i felt the want to keep someone... I didnt know how to feel.. now it feels like since i said so many crushing things... shes just out for blood... do i blame her? NO... But am i guilty of anything shes not NO. Man I love the girl but i can't allow myself so be lost in her when shes lost the want for me in her. But man on top of it all a child could hang in the balance and shes so caught in just her... I just cant get threw to her. the thing shes thinkin about doing is so against me and what i believe that it feels like spite... is that to vain/conceited? but i dont want her to resent me or the child so should i concede? Man all of this is eating away at your from the core. And ive said lets work on us... (never do that) I said i want you ( never do that) And she just said shes on a emotional rollercoaster.. she needs time to think.. What have u bn doing for the past couple weeks.

man so its left to say is .....

Man i'll jus sit here and torture the possibilty of what i could or what could...

New...

So im wondering threw old records... then i start into the old cds.... and then i start playin music from the old memory banks i mean just going threw lyircs in my head. And all i cold think of is I need more. I feel like music in general is me. I mean from from certain songs being exact emotions to certain verses placing my direct expression on wax...
I wish i had more confidence in my delivery on wax. I guess one of my own hang ups. Friends say im cool. I can write and i can spit fine. But im such my own critque after i lay something down i erase it. cause something small or something large may have been wrong. Thus gives me even more respect for the artist out there.
So all you cats out there big ups.
I know i talk or my words/slangs/vocabulary seems very midwest or even NY but im not either im a southern cat. Deep in the Heart of tx. My heart.
Just answering some random questions that ive been asked VIA email. SHout out to the emailers... Ya'll keep me on it. g_carter@rocketmail.com oh and the emaill addy has nothin to do with where im from i dont know why yahoo did that.


Never the less... here is something that is kinda new... I was gonna put up something dark... from when i wanted to chunk a bitch down the stairs on some i hope you can fly shit. But im in a good mood like no other at the moment. Dont know why... cause last nite was full of alcohol and drunk text arguments..... *smh*
Ppl really see me differently than i see myself!! way different.

I call this one Rescue me...




*clears throat*

Falling into her eyes
drifting...
drifting...
into her.... Soul
losing my grip on reality....
the actuality of her is.... mesmerizing...
as i....
drift...
drift...
into.... her Soul...
Discovering neverland in her mold....
creating Xtacy,bliss, life yet losing control...


exposed the lack of gravity
dreaming of complaisant flight
drifting...
drifting...

Apologies

I'm sorry to anyone who actually reads,emails, comments or looks forward to anytihng i have to say.... Alot has been going on. Between personal life/women to business (book) life shit got a little hectic which took me away from my life. So I am sorry... if i left you guys in limbo i will definately put something new out tonight or tomorrow. I SWEAR to that. ButI had real convo with someone that may influence my every decision from today till death.... and thats some honest smack in the face kick in the shin pinch me if im dreaming type shit.





So I went to sleep/woke up/dreamt all in this one sense of mind....


Listening to a syrens cry, Opens eyes
But Quiets Humanity!!!
-me-

Addictions....

As i recap upon certain events current and past. And look/watch other peoples decisions/life play out before my eyes. I begin think how these things play/played apart in my own life. And man do i ever hate when someone elses hang ups shift my reality. But as began to overthink/pink/go deeper i thought what is life.... and when you get down to it. It is Nothing more than a Addiction. Hence the saying "healthy addiction"

I mean i dont see past anything but my life and my day to day is grasping/living in those moments that make me feel most alive. Or where/were i get the most out of life.





So i ask you... have you began to feed your habit?!




LIFE- being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.
I mean it is nothing more than actively moving (metabolism), fucking (reproducing) in the words of the pisser (kells) must be that sex weed lmao. and adapting to whatever enviroment you find yourself in rural to urban....

and me myself... I have not one ounce of a situation/issue/problem with my massive addiction.



New Material coming soon... Today?Tomorrow?Tonight? Soon...

"The Nature of US"

As requested.... Man i'm glad you dig it. No im not gonna even mention that... i'll leave it up though. cause i think the situation is hilarious. Stupidity/ignorance is comical for most. bliss that live in it. *smh*

But on to shit that matters...


"The Nature Of US"





as i lay back craving the rain drops of ur love to soak my roots...
steadily growing stronger as my branches wrap aroun its sunshine...
feeling the ocean of ur desire turning me into a penisula as the curves of our bodies clashes like the waves against the shores of ur heart....
nestled standing strong battling threw the test of time the lies of thunder...
which allows me to laugh at the grumbling of the wind...
or not feed into the bullshit of the lightening...
so i laugh here waiting to reep the fruits of our labor...
so i take in eve... to my adam...
as i takeone knee if she will have him...
so have me...
because ur love like mother earth has birthed a new man... as ur man.. rain on me... and we shall grow as we...




P.s. (by the way)
This does not count as new material. i still got yall on more stuff. coming soon.

Visions Of Future Hindsight occurences

I truely see the past as a way to guide your future. But i dont see is how ppl get locked into repeating the past. Like it's not a map of shit not to do. Currently Putting my metaphoric/physical/mental footprint in time down. Cant allow it. I mean I once heard someone say Mistakes mean nothing its the consequences that we have to live with..... right/wrong?
Its preception that others take of our actions that make up there re-actions that seem to rain down as our consequences(i low key just got deep)(fuck that i been deep)
lol. Okay maybe i was really shallow at one time. But who hasnt been.








I am beginging to realize how much i could honestly do with patience... yet im still like fuck patience with leave you a patient of time. But hell im still growing as a person/man/being. So in time.... maybe... maybe not. New Poetry coming in a couple days hope you all felt "The Nature of US" i mean speak on it. Shout outs to Devin, Trey, Reverb. all of you that hit me on the email. Much love.



*out/night/morning/late*

oh and......






what is there left to say HARD(fucking)BODY!!! Right?!

Days OF Weeks... hours of those...

Running into writers blocks/obstacles of self. This in return makes me think how do i get myself out of my own way.... Because i honestly believe that there is no one that can stop me but me. So dayum Cliche' but (dead ass the truth) So where does that leave you? when your the fork.... I think overthinkin is a great excercise. Yet i believe piecing together past emotions with present thoughts is even better... lol.


Today seems to be one of those backwards/mixmatch days... where it looks bad outside but it doesnt affect your mood.... Like its pouring and dampers your plans but your emotions is like fuck it with a smile... Ye' smile all day.

Sometimes I wish.....

So.... as i woke up this morning its pouring down raining.And i wake up next to this angel... hair all over head... like its never been done before. Yet i smile... in total bliss. Knowing that beauty is truely in the eye of the beholder/I beheld. And i this thought of her in the same position/pose as the adina howard cover. And how i seem to have this thing for certain types of females in certain types of hair styles. I mean a woman can rock anything and grab/grasp a mans attention. I swear there is something about a woman who can hoop with some straight back braids and a pair of sweats on ((i dont know maybe it is just me))
Yet I cant get this one image out of my mind.... I swear a musical woman is something special.


SO yes i said i would begin to post what i write... Oh and you dont have to email me.. yes it is the one of the quickest ways to contact me so i guess that would be better in your eyes... in hindsight. So here we go. But on the same note you can comment and email me. new email addy..... g_carter@rocketmail.com....



"THE nature Of US"



as i lay back craving the rain drops of ur love to soak my roots...
steadily growing stronger as my branches wrap aroun its sunshine...
feeling the ocean of ur desire turning me into a penisula as the curves of our bodies clashes like the waves against the shores of ur heart....
nestled standing strong battling threw the test of time the lies of thunder...
which allows me to laugh at the grumbling of the wind...
or not feed into the bullshit of the lightening...
so i laugh here waiting to reep the fruits of our labor...
so i take in eve... to my adam...
as i takeone knee if she will have him...
so have me...
because ur love like mother earth has birthed a new man... as ur man.. rain on me... and we shall grow as we...

Destiny....Or faith in talent

So i took a brief intermission from the internet for a second... so much has taken place. So much has changed... But i have also decided to start putting up what i write.... I mean As many of you do not know I write. I put down a lil on the pad with the pen. It is simply like a discussion between my brain/heart/soul (self) and allows me to get that bullshit that i carry with me day to day (life) off my back/shoulders.

So as i a woke to a very blaming text this morning. I thought. Is there anyother true prespective than your own. I mean there is no way for you to honestly see something as it happens threw someone elses eyes. I mean how you see and precieve something is a mirror of your presonality/ who you are/ your beliefs. So as i decided how to respond. I thought/pondered even if i do explain my point of view does it really change how someone looks at the situation. I mean they may figure they were right or wrong. But it wont change there reaction/presence about something.

Right/Left Side of the bed.......

I woke up completely in a good mood... it maybe because of the SxSw... Hmmm but for whatever reason the outcome was good. Charles hamilton tonite preforms with Blu&exile Dope. I say. Dope. And my simple love for music>rock>indie>hiphop... has this excitment in me i guess.
But i was thinking.. is there love at first sight if your blind(to love)?! seems as though the state of emergency in the world has emerge a better state for music. Cause seems as though the worst off the economy is looking the better artist seem to be coming out of the pool of Bull... For the record certain artist should not be allowed to hold certain titles I.E. the title artist/musician! 1. Plies. 2. gucci mane 3. Keak Da Sneak... lmao... just to name a few that pissed me off as my mind began to wonder. Some may say souljha boy ( fact i do not like his music) but have you seen the young kid place together a beat on fruity loops. Peep worldstarhiphop. DL fruityloops yourself and then you shall understand.

SxSw

SxSw starts tomorrow the fact that there so many good acts and i truely dont know where to start makes it so fun... sometimes it does suck to love music this much. But when something like this comes around its hard body!!! I mean I shall be definately in rocking out yet fashionably controled as i watch Charles hamilton do his thing tomorrow... then cudi on thurs... then Lst...just so many bands... I low key just channeled the scene from "Dude where's my car" lmao and then.... (no and then) and then.... (No and then)and then.... lmao






Today feels like a laid bacc as day... even though i walked into a hail storm of bullshit at work! i mean its like a bunch of chimpanzee's here just throwing shit around at eachother seeing who they can hit... but isnt it like that at most jobs anyway. Its all about making your dough, ducking the assholes, and climbing the ladder in the process or saying ultimately fuck it!

Rigid Rambling....

So i woke up wondering where/How should my next move be... I mean this week coming up is going to be mad different yet crazy exciting. you never know how people react to things that have been/will be/are being said. So Im currently in the craziest mood. Like so many different emotions at once yet it feels so outer body. Which makes it to hard to describe... I currently find myself wondering why... I mean i know why people overall do most of the things they do (simply) out of self preservation over self expectancy. Like people woul dmuch rather do what they feel or what makes them feel than to do what is hard and maybe abnormal. So in the process they hurt the ones that they feel are most important by basically taking away there ability to hurt them. Crazy part in it all they hurt themselves in the long run!! the world>life>heart is a crazy thing.



today looks how i feeel... gray rainy gloomy cold out. *sings* its pouring the old man is snoring... Damn this shit sounds mad depressing hahahahahaha yet im smiling.Or least i have that Kayne smile on. simply because

I have decided to switch IT

Im going to turn this totally into a direction towards my two favorite things in life... Me and HIPHOP... i believe my life deserves a Soundtrack so why not use this to play it?! right?.... stay tuned in cause imagine with my life and my Love/existence/lust in hiphop this should be fun... lmao! for me!